Tough Love

When anyone who has been caught in some great problem comes through it, you generally hear them give credit to the Lord, but perhaps also to the person who was an interventionist.   They may thank the person who stood before them and said, “No”.

When someone succeeds they may say, “I want to thank ….” and whomever they thank is usually someone who taught them something, helped them be accountable, helped them establish good habits…usually there is an element of discipline or training involved in how help was administered.

You don’t hear recovering alcoholics or drug addicts say, “I want to thank so-and-so who taught me to party, to drink, to take drugs, etc., because it led me to a life of success.” No, they don’t do that.   They leave behind the friends who are engulfed in bad habits and  thank the person who set them on the road of discipline.

And while some people may enjoy being around the “fun” party person, it is the person with the serious ideas and discipline that can help pull a situation out of a slump.  When leadership is required, thinking people  go to the serious leaders with well-thought out solutions.

Indeed, that is how the Lord works.

Hebrews 12:5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:

6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?

8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?

10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.

11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

Tough love is not some squishy thing that says, whatever goes, whatever you want to do no matter how destructive, I’m with you Bro.  No, love does not go the path of enablement.  Love does not hand $20 to an alcoholic to go and buy another drink. That is not love. That is enabling someone on the pathway to destruction.

Jesus called 12 disciples.  “Discipline” and “disciple” are related words.  There is the discipline of doing something that requires effort, the discipline of creating a good habit, the discipline of doing that which is beyond the comfort zone. Yes, you learn, but then you also do.